It's been 3 month since Covid-19 put a sudden halt to our lives and it has made me explore and re-evaluate my life. I am experiencing an inner shift, bringing about major change. I perceive things in a new light and honestly, I have no idea where it's leading me. I am entering unexplored territory that I find hard to grasp just yet.
And for once I am trying to be ok with that. With the not knowing, trying not to rush and allowing things to unfold naturally.
If you know me, you know that me and patience have not always been friends!
And being stuck in lockdown has really brought that to the surface.
I think impatience is a manifestation of a fundamental lack of trust. We want everything immediately to reassure our existential fear of not having enough, not being enough and missing out.
This blog has always been about my progress as an artist, sharing my ups and downs while figuring out how to navigate the calling to do art for a living. I was forever trying to find the secrets and hidden keys to success, that seemed to work for everybody else. But as I continue to learn and grow I have come to realise:
There is no secret.
There is no one way, no one special ingredient only a chosen few know about. There is only you and how you do things. And that is the right way. For you.
Nothing is linear, nothing is just black or white – not even for the people who’s lives seem perfect.
Once we realise, that the amount of control we can exercise onto what is happening to us is ever so minute, we are able to accept that the only way is to trust. Trust that, as long as we strive to be the best versions of ourselves, things will turn out to be ok. And this in turn can have a major impact on easing our anxieties. We could cut out a lot of detours if we stopped comparing ourselves, ceased trying to be like other people and just trusted our guts, our hearts, that we will naturally do the thing that is right for us. And since authenticity is the holy grail we’re all after, what can be more authentic than that? As for success, I would say if you spend most of your life doing what you love and you have a roof over your head and food on your plate, you can call yourself successful.
Having had these realisations helped me to learn to trust the process. And as my trust grows, so does my patience. All good things take time. My fear of the unknown has given way to an excited anticipation for the future! What has it got in store for me?
I will make sure to let you know!