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Ode to Fear

Sometimes, when I feel a little sting, a wistful tension of melancholy, 

I go inside and really listen, listen carefully, 

I can hear it rumble - right at the very back of my very being. 

Then I know a powerful little storm is coming for me. 

My heart gets swept up by heavy gushes of passion and I know I’m in for something new. The storm is approaching fast now and with it an idea, a new way of thinking, a revelation – Change.

I buckle up for the ride as the floodgates open and heavy tears rain down my face, forming puddles in every crook of me. 

Wash away old habits, wash away what no longer serves me.

My throat convulses and an archaic yell from the depth of where my guts live, cheer me on to not be afraid and trust that it will be good.

Trembling limbs, a last little shiver, 

and then 

it is over. 

Leaving behind the devastation of a self that is no longer - but instead fertile mud made of human.

A cleansing calm engulfs me now. In this emptiness lays the space for a new spark. 

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